The third day of the Fourth Month of 1876.
Mother and Papa INSIST Marr and I keep journals which I do not understand as there is no reason to be writing down things which are nobody's business and anyway it takes too much time and it is hard to do so and your handwriting gets impossible to read and the ink goes everywhere when you are in the stagecoach which we had to be on because Mother does not like trains because of "The Accident" as if nobody but she has ever HAD an accident and then continued to ride whatever, the horse or the wagon I mean what EVER would have happened if she'd had an accident walking, would she then have had to be carried about forever?
Of course Marr, child that she is being 30 minutes younger than I which in her case is the same as 30 YEARS, has no complaints but obediently does obey which of course I do but I do believe she does not even have a thought that she should NOT have to obey every order which we or at least I shall not have to do once wed but if we must go to this place to which we arrived yesterday I begin to doubt that I ever SHALL wed as there are naught but old men and young drunken men or poor ones as I can tell by the clothing which they wear which are covered with dirt as is not surprising as when you walk down the street there is filth and nobody seems to clean it and Mother stepped in something from a horse which was DISGUSTING and our house which is TINY was somewhat clean as America had been sent ahead though I did see something small moving on the mattress though Marr said she did not but she wears GLASSES so what does she know and yet still how will I EVER meet a proper husband if all that is ever done while in this horrid town is 1) CLEAN the house 2) TRY to keep oneself clean 3) WORK in the newspaper helping typeset 3) STEPPING OVER drunkards (which I saw two of already) and filth from HORSES which is left on the streets unlike at home.
FURTHER, Marr and I cannot leave the house alone unattended which suits myself fine as there is NOWHERE to go, no shops as at home, no theatre, no church, no school wherein one might meet friends although I must say I am done with school almost as at 13 there really is little more I need to learn except that which will make me the wife of the best and most excellent husband such as cooking, managing a household, ordering fine furniture and linens, keeping up with fashion and there is NO WAY to do that here as a) there is nothing to cook with that is nothing but CHICKEN and DEER, America and Mother both say sugar and flour are dear and hard to get, and as to managing a household, one would THINK at least she does that America was the one who is managing and in charge and probably she will find a husband before I ever do although of course hers would be a lowly dark man so I would lose nothing EXCEPT there is NO WAY I can ever find a husband here and oh yes, fashion is not here, there are no ladies dressed the way they dressed back home and OF COURSE Mother does not see that as she has no sight and does not CARE as she says clean clothes that keep you covered and warm or from the sun are all you need worry about which is RIDICULOUS although I cannot tell her this and so I keep my lips tightly shut and even if there WAS fashion here it would soon be covered with dirt and mud and DUST so what does it MATTER and I should tell Papa when he says it is NOT SAFE for Marr and I to wander the streets that I do not CARE as if we are here forever, then I may as well be, dare I say, DEAD!
Mother and Papa INSIST Marr and I keep journals which I do not understand as there is no reason to be writing down things which are nobody's business and anyway it takes too much time and it is hard to do so and your handwriting gets impossible to read and the ink goes everywhere when you are in the stagecoach which we had to be on because Mother does not like trains because of "The Accident" as if nobody but she has ever HAD an accident and then continued to ride whatever, the horse or the wagon I mean what EVER would have happened if she'd had an accident walking, would she then have had to be carried about forever?
Of course Marr, child that she is being 30 minutes younger than I which in her case is the same as 30 YEARS, has no complaints but obediently does obey which of course I do but I do believe she does not even have a thought that she should NOT have to obey every order which we or at least I shall not have to do once wed but if we must go to this place to which we arrived yesterday I begin to doubt that I ever SHALL wed as there are naught but old men and young drunken men or poor ones as I can tell by the clothing which they wear which are covered with dirt as is not surprising as when you walk down the street there is filth and nobody seems to clean it and Mother stepped in something from a horse which was DISGUSTING and our house which is TINY was somewhat clean as America had been sent ahead though I did see something small moving on the mattress though Marr said she did not but she wears GLASSES so what does she know and yet still how will I EVER meet a proper husband if all that is ever done while in this horrid town is 1) CLEAN the house 2) TRY to keep oneself clean 3) WORK in the newspaper helping typeset 3) STEPPING OVER drunkards (which I saw two of already) and filth from HORSES which is left on the streets unlike at home.
FURTHER, Marr and I cannot leave the house alone unattended which suits myself fine as there is NOWHERE to go, no shops as at home, no theatre, no church, no school wherein one might meet friends although I must say I am done with school almost as at 13 there really is little more I need to learn except that which will make me the wife of the best and most excellent husband such as cooking, managing a household, ordering fine furniture and linens, keeping up with fashion and there is NO WAY to do that here as a) there is nothing to cook with that is nothing but CHICKEN and DEER, America and Mother both say sugar and flour are dear and hard to get, and as to managing a household, one would THINK at least she does that America was the one who is managing and in charge and probably she will find a husband before I ever do although of course hers would be a lowly dark man so I would lose nothing EXCEPT there is NO WAY I can ever find a husband here and oh yes, fashion is not here, there are no ladies dressed the way they dressed back home and OF COURSE Mother does not see that as she has no sight and does not CARE as she says clean clothes that keep you covered and warm or from the sun are all you need worry about which is RIDICULOUS although I cannot tell her this and so I keep my lips tightly shut and even if there WAS fashion here it would soon be covered with dirt and mud and DUST so what does it MATTER and I should tell Papa when he says it is NOT SAFE for Marr and I to wander the streets that I do not CARE as if we are here forever, then I may as well be, dare I say, DEAD!
Deadwood - located in Phoenix Pass, Second Life (not really in South Dakota)
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